Malacañang Hires Mocha Uson to Surf Facebook All Day

mocha uson

Manila – Due to her extensive experience in surfing Facebook all day, Malacañang has decided to hire sexy performer Mocha Uson to do exactly what she already does but with a lot better pay and benefits. Of course, directly from the taxpayers’ money.

In her appointment paper, President Rodrigo Duterte has granted Uson the position of Assistant Secretary in the Presidential Communications office.

Aside from posting her usual “enhanced” content on the official government Facebook account, she will also be responsible for banning anyone who criticizes the President and his government.